Culinary Masters

My son and I have been butting heads since this whole Bed-Rest fiasco started. He turns 6 next month, and he has always been my "easy" one. He has a temper, but it takes a LOT to get him riled up. He typically keeps his room clean, his favorite chore is scrubbing toilets (BLESS HIM!!), and he usually is asking me if there are any jobs he can do around the house to earn extra privileges. I thought he would enjoy me being on bed rest because he'd get to earn game-time and other privileges up the wa-zoo. WRONG. Anytime I've asked him to do something, he rolls his eyes (when did he learn THAT??), huffs, says something along the lines of "I'm sick of picking up after you!!", and stomps off to his room. Uh. WHAT? First off, that is MY line, and second off, WHAT THE HECK?? Since when has it been okay to talk to me this way?? I will admit that he and I have gotten into some pretty childish arguments over the last few days. Christmas was a wonderful break because Dan had a 4 day weekend and my parents were off as well, so I had a lot of help. It is now 3 days after Christmas and everyone has gone back to work and reality is setting back in. I've tried to make more of an effort to interact with my kids, like playing Legos with Jay and Dollhouse with Karah. Santa was so thoughtful to bring the kids things that we all can enjoy from the bed or couch. I've been thinking and praying about what to do to improve Jayden's and my relationship since Monday. We just seem to be butting heads like battling rams. The harder I push, he seems to push back harder. Yesterday I noticed that it was starting to happen again, and I tried a different approach. Before Bed-Rest (BBR), I would either have dinner ready in time to sit down to eat when Dan got home for work, or, on my late days, I would either put together a crock pot meal or have SOMETHING quick and easy for Dan to throw together when he got home so he and the kids could just relax when they got home. Me being on bed-rest has thrown a wrench into that plan, seeing as the doctor chastised me for SITTING too much last week and not LAYING DOWN enough. I can't cook dinner anymore, and it is driving me (and my poor family) nuts because they have to wait however long it takes my poor husband to produce something edible before they can eat. I love the man...but he hates cooking. And I hate $5 pizzas. So, yesterday, before Jay's and my disagreement turned into WW3, another crazy-brilliant idea popped into my head: Let Jayden cook dinner. I've always let him help me, and he LOVES helping out in the kitchen. He is my sports buddy and my cooking buddy. He will sit down and watch football and Food Network with me, and he helps me grocery shop for ingredients. The kid is good. What five year old do you know that can tell the difference between an orange and a tangerine? Or who can tell the difference between iceberg lettuce and romaine? He knows how to tell if strawberries are fresh or not, too. AND he compares prices. Yes. My five year old is frugal. It is awesome. So, anyway, I decide that he and Karah can put dinner together. He has helped me enough in the kitchen to earn the official title of my "Sous Chef". He knows how to peel vegetables, brown hamburger meat, fry an egg, (ALL with my supervision, OF COURSE!!) and we were working on flipping a pancake when BR happened. I asked Jay if he wanted to start dinner my himself. His eyes lit up. "What am I going to make?" Me- "I was thinking Hobo Stew. What do you think?" Jay- "There's a lot of vegetables that need peeled and chopped. I'm a master peeler, but I can't chop..." Me- "Well, you and Karah peel the potatoes and carrots, then bring me a cutting board and I will chop them." Jay- "You're REALLY letting me cook??" Me-"Yes." That little man was so excited! He brought me the cutting board and paring knife (yes, people, the kid also knows his knives...) and peeled an onion for me. He then took his little sister to the kitchen, made sure they both washed their hands with soap (!!!), got the peelers out, and then proceeded to teach his sister how to peel carrots. Together they peeled 6 carrots, and then he went on to peel 6 perfect potatoes. He brought those to me, and I told him to get the hamburger meat out of the fridge and put it in the pot with the onions. Thankfully, our kitchen and living room are very close, and I was only about 5 feet away from him. I did cheat and get up to turn the stove on to the right temperature, then he shooed me out of "his" kitchen. We may have to cut back on watching Chef Gordan Ramsay a little bit... He had his chair pushed up to the stove, and he was super careful while browning the beef and onions. He also minced a clove of garlic perfectly. (I have a hand-held mincer...) He then carefully added the rest of the vegetables. Luckily, my husband bought the easy-open cans of corn and green beans, so he was able to add those, too, without much difficulty. I had beef broth in the fridge in a carton, and he added that as well. He and I have been going over different herbs and we decided that a little bit of thyme and rosemary would go perfectly. I had to cheat again and help him find them. Once he had them, though, I was "shooed" again. A little bit of water, and a few bouillon cubes later, and we had a culinary masterpiece. Dan got home and was starting to chastise me for cooking dinner when Jayden (who TATTLES on me any and every time I get up for something other than going to the bathroom...I'm sorry, but sometimes I do walk from the couch to my bed instead of the bathroom...) piped up and said, "Mommy didn't cook dinner, Daddy, I DID!!" He was SO excited! Dan then took the time to survey the kitchen...there may or may not have been carrot and potato peels EVERYWHERE. "I see..." he said, looking at me with raised eyebrows. Jayden told him about how the only thing I did was chop up the vegetables while sitting on the couch, and how he had done everything else. Dan tasted the soup and was impressed. "It tastes just like Mommy made it!!" Jayden (and I) beamed at the compliment. Now, I know that some people will probably freak out at the fact that I allowed my not-quite-six-year-old son to COOK dinner. They will do so because they do not know my son. He and I have been cooking together since we brought him home from the hospital. As an infant he was in a sling while I stood at the stove. As he got older, I would let him help where he could. He knows his way around the kitchen, he knows how to be safe around a stove, he knows how to measure, he knows his ingredients, and I was supervising his every move. After Jayden finished putting dinner together, he was a totally different kid from before. He cleaned up (most) of his mess. He only left the peelings because he felt his sister needed to help him (and I agreed) and she was more interested in anything but at the time. I told Jay that he could take a break from cleaning until Daddy got home and play his Wii game. He decided to pick up his toys, organize his new Lego table, bring me an ice water (without me asking), and play with his sister instead. (!!!) The "real" Jayden was back!! I think our problem was that he felt that I was just barking out orders and not recognizing that he could do more than just pick up his toys. He is used to helping me do some pretty grown up stuff, and I hadn't been acknowledging that lately. It had been almost 3 weeks since he helped me with anything besides picking up his toys. I think that by allowing him to be responsible for dinner made him realize that he is still my "Sous Chef" and that I still think of him as a growing boy and not a "little slave kid" (his words, people...). There have been a lot of changes to the way our little family does things, and when Annie is born, there will be even more changes. The important thing for me as a mother is to let my kids see that no matter what life throws our way my love for them only grows.

Just About Lost It...

I have a bad habit of thinking I can handle things when, in reality, I can't. Like the idea that I could possibly make it through today A. without finishing off the apple pie that Dan made last night and B. without HELP. Due to a series of miscommunications on my part, I had both kids all day by myself while Dan was at work. Under normal circumstances it wouldn't be a problem, but things lately are far from normal. My kids have discovered that I can't really stop them, so naturally things went wonderful today. My poor husband came home to an entire potato chip bag smashed all over the kitchen and living room floors, art supplies spread throughout the house, a flipping flood in the bathroom from "bath time, and two kids already in their pajamas sitting on their beds since 4:30 pm because they'd been told that their mother was going to tan their hides into leather if they so much as thought about putting one toe on the floor. Not one of my proudest moments, but I had already counted 4 painful contractions in just over an hour and I didn't want them getting any closer than that. Dan was NOT happy today when he walked in the door, and he made it VERY clear that he never wanted to see that type of behavior from the kids again. I felt horrible. I mean, obviously I've failed somewhere as a mother if my kids can't even behave for me when I'm in the same room with them! As I watched Dan lecture the kids about respect, obedience, and just plain acting like human beings instead of a herd of rabid monkeys, I realized something: They are testing us. I tested my parents on occasion, and they were testing me today. They were trying to see what they could get away with, and they found out fast that they didn't get away with anything once Dan got home. I am SO glad that my sweet husband loves and respects me enough to make sure the kids apologized to me, cleaned up their messes, and provided an opportunity for us to "kiss and make up" as a family. Dan not only scolded the kids, but he grabbed the scriptures and gave several examples of how obedience, respect, faith, and love for one another benefited their Biblical heroes. I sat there in amazement at how it seemed to "click" in their little heads how horrible their behavior was, and they started coming up with ideas on how they could help me and make me feel better for tomorrow. There have been moments of bonding with my kids that I am so grateful for. I hope that today was just a fluke, and that we can continue enjoying our time together before Baby Annie graces us with her presence...

"Christmas Arting"

Although I have an amazing support system, I still have my kids the majority of the time. Jayden had one more week left of school before Christmas Break when I was admitted to the hospital, so he was pretty easy to take care of. Karah, on the other hand, got to spend quite a bit of time with my mom and a friend from church. Friday was the first day I had her to myself all day. Let me tell you: it is not easy to keep a highly imaginative, energetic, bored-out-of-her-mind 4 year old entertained when you are confined to bed rest. She was awake at 6:30 am, and by 10:30 am she was just as done with television as I was and we had already played with Barbies, blocks, My Little Ponies, and she had been a variety of Disney Princesses. She wanted to have a dance party and she did not understand why she was the only one dancing at this party. We've tried to explain to her that Mommy cannot get up from the couch, but when she sees me get up to go to the bathroom, she assumes I'm fine now. We are slowly and surely getting the point across. Anyway, after a half an hour of arguing about what we could and couldn't do for the day, and our tempers rising (and I may or may not have had a few painful contractions in during this discussion), I had a flash of brilliance: Art. What child doesn't LOVE art projects? Especially "no boundaries" art projects?? Okay, I will admit. There was a HUGE amount of desperation in my decision, but I gave my 4 year old child unrestricted access to a box of art supplies that included crazy scissors, glue, construction paper, glitter glues, jewels, buttons, tape, stickers, watercolor paints, gel pens, and markers. Yes. I know this blog is about how I am supposed to be saving my sanity, and this post probably eludes to the opposite, but. it. worked. With minimal mess! It actually made me laugh out loud at how excited she was. She couldn't believe it. She'd pick something up and say, "You mean I can use THIS??" over and over, with her pitch getting higher and higher with each item. She nearly threw herself into cardiac arrest with sheer excitement over this wonderful development. I highly doubt she would have been more excited if a pink and purple sparkly unicorn had appeared and given her a ride over a rainbow... She sat there for HOURS and worked hard on project after project, and even cleaned up after herself! I think she realized either my desperation to entertain her or the ENORMOUS privilege it was to get to "work" without me telling her what she could and couldn't use. She called it "Christmas Arting", and we have her handiwork all over the house and Christmas tree. Jayden has even gotten into it. They have letters ready to send to cousins, beautiful pictures for aunts and uncles, glorious portraits and Christmas cards for grandparents, and they.get.along!!! I know I have a long (hopefully) 10 weeks ahead of me, and that my kids and their interests are subject to change at any second, but I will take "Christmas Arting" as a win. It may be temporarily messy, but the peace, love, and beauty it brings to my house (and the fact that I don't have to get up to do anything) makes it totally worth it. My sanity will last another day!

Support System

One thing I have been EXTREMELY blessed with is an amazing support system. My personal support system is made up of family and friends, as most are. I am not the kind of mom who schedules play dates every week and hosts "Mommy and Me" meetings at my house. I am a working-full-time-mom who is lucky to get home in time to make a home-cooked meal for everyone to inhale as fast as they can before Karate or other activities start. Don't get me wrong, I make time for my family. We set aside certain days and nights for strictly family activities, and we get together with my parents often. I'm just not super social outside my family and church. So, I was worried that I would get caught up in doing things like laundry, dishes, getting kids ready, dropping kids off, and basically "being a mom" once I got the okay to leave the hospital because no one else would be there to do it. I needn't have worried. Once people heard what was going on, both family and friends, they dove in head first to help. In fact, the hardest part has been LETTING them help. I want to scream from the roof-tops "I AM MY KIDS' MOM!!" and "MY HOUSE NORMALLY DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THIS!!" (even though we all know that last one is a lie...). It is difficult to watch someone clean out my fridge or load my dishwasher when, in my head, I am perfectly capable of handling such tasks. I am constantly being reminded by friends, family, my husband, and even my children, that "NO YOU AREN'T! Annie isn't ready, yet, and so you sit your butt back down!"
Often I get started on throwing myself a little pity party about how this couldn't have happened at a worse time. 2 weeks before Christmas, and I can't do squat. No shopping, no cleaning, no decorating, no cooking or baking (stab to my heart!), and then I remember something: the true reason for this season, the celebration of God's greatest Gift to mankind. Every single person who has helped me out during this time has shown the purest love of all, which is what we are all asked to do not only during this time of year, but always. I have been taught that when you help others, you are helping Christ. And also that by helping others, you are becoming like Christ. When I think of it that way, I realize how amazing our Savior is, and what a huge support He has been to me through this time. God has sent angels in the forms of friends and family to help me keep sane this Christmas season. I know I can't rely on them 100%. I am my kids' mom, my husband's wife, and ME, but it is okay to let someone else bring in dinner, fold the laundry, sweep the floor, and sit and talk with me about ideas to help me pass the time that don't involve the television. My main priority and goal right now is to make it to 37 weeks before having this baby. She may come earlier, but not because I've over-extended myself. I don't have that excuse anymore....

Trial and Sentencing...

Last Saturday started out like every other normal day. I got up, fed the kids breakfast, jumped in the shower, threw my clothes on and hair in a ponytail, kissed everyone good bye, then went to work. 2 hours later I was crying on the floor in the bathroom, calling my husband to come pick me up and take me to the hospital. The culprit? Contractions. Nasty, painful, CLOSE contractions. No problem, right? I mean, I'm pregnant, I've had kids before, and it is now Baby Time! A time to be excited and happy, right? No. I am only 27 weeks along. We get to the hospital, and I'm thinking they are going to just give me a shot of something, calm me down, and send me home. Nope. I get to stay FIVE FREAKING DAYS hooked up to IVs, getting blood drawn every 4 hours, and getting highly painful steroid shots to help boost my baby girl's chances of survival if they can't stop my pre-term labor. It made me laugh every time the nurses tried to tell me to just take a deep breath and relax. REALLY??? Relax while I am being hooked up to 5 different machines, being poked every 4 hours, and being pumped full of several highly uncomfortable pharmaceuticals?? I jokingly told one of the nurses that the only way I could relax at that point was if they prescribed me something for that as well. Next thing I know, she's bringing in another syringe and I start feeling pretty relaxed....
I was stuck in bed for 3 days. I did not get up once. Not to shower, go to the bathroom, anything. The last two days I was able to go to the bathroom, but nothing else, and that is my sentence for the remainder of my pregnancy. Most moms would faint from excitement if they were told they COULDN'T touch a dish, shirt, broom, mop, vacuum, or any other form of cleaning utensil/cooking instrument for an undetermined amount of time. I was a little excited at first. Then reality sunk in...if I don't do it, who will? Poor Dan already has to figure out picking up and dropping off the kids from school, clean, go Christmas shopping (yeah...we hadn't done any of that yet), and now he has to take care of the house as well. Then my kids jumped in my head. I have a 5 and 4 year old. How the %$!@ am I supposed to keep both kids fed, clothed, and occupied during the day if I can't even get up to make them a sandwich or fold a shirt? I think I started having a panic attack at that point, because the nurse walked in with another one of my favorite little syringes...
Anyway, I have been home for 2 days now, and I am going freaking insane. My kids have discovered that I can't run after them or even check on them when they are in the other room. I am DONE with the T.V, I have almost finished crocheting a baby blanket, and I have read every book I have available. And they are hoping to keep me in this state for TEN WEEKS. I started thinking "what the heck can I do to save my sanity and the lives of the rest of my family while I am confined to the bed/couch?" I thought of looking up some blogs, and then I thought "Shoot, I'll just make my own blog with things that work for me." This gets me out of my head a bit, and gives me something to do. I highly doubt anyone will find this entertaining or even helpful, but at this point, this is about saving MY sanity. If it helps someone else out, great. I'd love feed back. Anyway, that is the purpose and history behind this blog, and I will share my experiences and ideas as they come to me!